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I'm not as excited about my birthday as I probably should be but one thing is for sure...I am grateful. At 35 I've been through a few things and have yet to experience a lot of other things. One experience that I wish on no one is having surgery.
Earlier this year, I had a non-cancerous tumor (fibroadenoma) removed from my breast. Anyone that has ever found a lump in their body knows how incredibly scary it is. You hope that it's
nothing to worry about but every time you touch it, you worry. And the word "worry" does not truly encompass the gamut of shit that runs through your mind. Sitting here reflecting this experience, I’m
just grateful. I am grateful for not having to worry about that damn lump anymore and for having a husband that likes to kiss my scars.
At 35, I wished I had a child by now but, I am grateful to still be someone's child. When I woke up this morning I had over 40 messages from Facebook wishing me Happy Birthday... I'm grateful to still be someone's friend. Ugh, why am I getting teary right now, how corny!... but hey, I'm even grateful for the tears. So, while I don't have anything special planned for my 35th Birthday, I feel especially grateful to the 35 years that has not only given, but that has also taken away.
Gone are the thoughts that think there will always be a tomorrow. I know that I better celebrate today with love, dance and photography... cause that's how I like it. Gone are 35 years of youth that has given me 35 years of life. Gone is that cursed tumor that has given me cunning perspective.
As I get older I hope to lose the things about me that are childish and gain things that are child-like. Here's to the bumps, bruises and scars that are sure to happen along the way.
