Farewells

It's amazing how reading these words from years ago brings me right back to what I was thinking and feeling. Here is an old blog entry I wrote on Sunday, April 15, 2007, when I left my New York co-workers to take an assignment in Connecticut. This was the BEST working relationsip I ever had. We started out as a group of girls (2 guys joined us later on). All of us were different, some were straight, some were gay. Some of us were married, some were living with their S.O, one was cheating, and one was totally free and dating. Whatever way you try to catorgize us, we were a creative team and a damn good one at that. Supervisors on different shifts would try to emulate "The Girls on 19!"

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On Friday morning, I got out of bed 20 mins later than usual (that being 3:20 a.m.). Although I was completely awake for the extra 20 min, I think the reality finally hit me. Today will be my last day at my current job site. I thought to myself... I'm not doing a damn thing at work today, LOL. But the reality is, it's normal day and if I don't want to get fired, I'd better carry on as usual.

It's great that I will not have to come to New York City any more but not everything is so simple to say goodbye to. I have made some friends at this site and I'm going to miss working with them. I really hate goodbyes. It always reminds me of when I was a little girl visiting Barbados, and on the last day my grandmother would cry. Year after year, no matter how often we visited, on that last day she would cry. One day I finally asked her, "Gran-gran, why are you crying?" her reply was, "Because I don't know if I will live long enough to see you again". Even typing this out, makes me a bit emotional when I think about it. At any rate, I don't want to say "Goodbye" but instead "See you later" to my ladies on the 19th floor, plus Damien and Nate. I admire something different in each one of you and I'm grateful that I had the chance to know you not as a co-worker but as a friend.

Anne: You have no idea how much I respect that fact that even though we work at a stuffy investment bank, you always knew that you are really a painter. I can't wait until you update your website, because your new drawings are amazing. I have always admired the way that you never let your emotions show on your face. It might seem like a silly thing to you, but I attribute that your ability to keep everything under control. That's something that I could definitely learn. Sorry, I did not get a chance to say goodbye, but you will be seeing me. Even if it's at the New Year's Eve Party. Thanks for your friendship, thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, girl... I'm really going to miss you.

Season: First off, thanks for not being pissed with me for calling you Summer for the first few weeks of meeting you. I never told you this, but I think it's great that even though you first went to school to be an actress, you're not afraid to change into something totally different. It's great that you are able to follow your heart. Let me know how everything works out with grad school. Lastly, don't forget those head-shots. Your responsibility as a Dr's wife is to make sure your husband has the most ass-ugly secretary available. LOL

Damien: Before you came, Cerelia named me Token... hummm, saying that sounds a lot funnier than writing it. Anyhow, I didn't get know you for as long as everyone else, but it easy to see that you are quite a man. Working 2 jobs, 7 days a week to provide for your family is more than just responsible. Your ability to balance it all out and find time to play with your 3 year old son everyday, makes you admirable. It's been a pleasure working with you. Get ready for my Lost & Heroes emails.

Nate: You're the coolest m-fing white man I know. You're not afraid to be yourself with all your crazy-ass animal tracking. I'm going to miss the hell out of your travel stories. More than anything else, I'm going to miss our conversation. You're one of the few people that whenever I speak with, I get the feeling that you are actually listening to everything that I say and you tell me exactly what you are thinking. You're attuned to my body language & my expressions. I've often thought, "Wow, he really wants to know me." Our conversations have helped me know myself better. You would make an wonderful High School teacher, although I don't know what the hell you would teach. I only know that you have the ability to help a person figure out what's best for themselves, without always having to say it. I know you will keep in touch.

Cerelia: Damnit, this is the hardest one. I don't know what to say to you or where to start. I just know that sitting here, I come close to tears when I think about how much I will miss you. My thoughts are scattered like some sort of abstract painting that evokes more feeling than it does image. Organic and free, my stream of conscientiousness...

Utah and Mormon : Barbados and Baptist, how could this be? Blue blue eyes, kinky hair, there is so much one could compare. But they matter not. Yoked together through friendship and laughter. Calm down girls, you're both pretty!... More laughter. Pretty honest with ourselves to be honest friends. No bullshit, just honest friends. No bullshit from our men. Dave Matthews, Trader Joe's, A pact to save our money. A pact to keep in touch. Will you scan this? and You gotta listen to that! Think Outside the Box! Our friendship is Outside the Box. My thoughts are not contained to these chosen words. Do you know of those unspoken words? Undecipherable. Outside of my comfort zone. Flowing free like a shallow stream. No distinct destination yet progressing quickly. I'll always be me, but after you... just a bit more organic and free. Love ya gurl.

Take care everyone. It has been a pleasure.